Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
