Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize