You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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