Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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