Me too!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
