Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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