the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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