i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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