Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
