I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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