Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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