ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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