Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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