Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
