i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The struggles of a small town man whore
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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