I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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