I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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