Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
