SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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