According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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