I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
