had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
