Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
