not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
