My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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