Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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