Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize