Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
