Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
