hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
