How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
