You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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