Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
