How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
