He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
and she was petting her beer can
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
