2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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