Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I could fuck to npr.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize