why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
