and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
