I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize