erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
