I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I looked at my own cervix.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
