I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
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So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
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She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
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