It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
