in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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