i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
