And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
