We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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