I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
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