brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
