Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
