I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize