question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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