Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When are your genitals available?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
