You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do vagina's smell?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
