They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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