Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
