the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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