Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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