There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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